Ramblings on Grief

Grief rambles. There are some common expressions - denial, anger, regret, etc-  but they don't usually come in a neat order.  Rather,  the emotions come in a jumble that aren’t always easy to pick out or to identify the source.  Like some tangled weed that creeps along in my garden, grief wraps itself around and peeks out in unsuspecting places.  I think we would all like grief to be contained in some neat phases to go through 1-2-3-4-5 and be over it but, once grief is there, it just rambles.  That is why certain hymns can have us fighting back the tears or certain activities bring about morose feelings even if it has been many years since the loss.  The initial pervasive rawness is lessened but it is that rambling grief again. 

September 11th was a reminder that grief still rambles through our country.  The land of the free is not free from anger, fear,  or hatred.  For 10 years we have been in grief over the loss of lives - both on September 11th and in the war - and also over the loss of our identity as a nation.  We have been in recovery from the horror, the vengeance, and the realization that unexpected events can happen that touch the core of who we are as individuals and as people together.  Someone asked, “Will we ever be over remembering September 11th?”   Will we ever be over remembering Pearl Harbor?  Will we ever be over remembering our loved ones?  Will we ever be over remembering significant losses in our lives?  And do we want to be?  I don’t think so.  It is part of our tribute to their significance in shaping who we are - to remember.

Grief as it manifests on an anniversary day or in its rambling way is not necessarily a bad thing.   Those experiences wake us up to the fact that we are people that have experienced a loss, who are different now.  They give us pause to remember, to connect to each other, and to praise God for abiding, enduring, overcoming love.