Anniversary thoughts

Yesterday, Kirk and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary.  We were married when we were 25, so that means that this year marks the tipping point - I have been a married woman longer than I was a single person. 


In my early adult life, I expected that I would be a single missionary living with a cat.  Instead,  I have two cats, a dog, a husband and 4 children.  I guess we never know what life will give us.  It is so much better than the original life I had imagined but with a whole different set of challenges.  This anniversary has given me reason to reflect on two topics that have consumed much of my thought process these days: aging and relationships. 

Joan Chittister comments on growing old gracefully in her book, The Gift of Years. “At its core, life is not about things, it is about relationships.  It is the hands we go on holding in our hearts at the end that define the kind of life we have led.  Our relationships determine the quality of life as we have known it.  They show us the face of God on Earth.  They are, too, what batter our hearts into the feelings of life.” 

As we age, the more precious our relationships can be - not just spouses, but also friends, acquaintances, family members, classmates.  At the same time, they are more fragile.  I was maid of honor in Marie and Al’s wedding.  Marie was my matron of honor.  This summer Al died without warning of a heart attack.  His funeral was held on their 33rd wedding anniversary.  My dear childhood friend is now a widow.  I guess we never know what life will give us.

Chittister continues, “When the relationships we forge as we go begin to disappear, our own life changes.  We know then what it is to be abandoned, to be a little less impervious to feeling than we thought we were.  Now it is not things we need, it is understanding we crave.  It is understanding that draws us out of ourselves into the earthenware vessel of new life.” 


It seems to me that in all stages of life, not just the second half, we crave understanding.  Perfect understanding, perfect love comes from God who knew us and formed us in our mother's womb.  Jesus walked this earth, understanding human vulnerabilities and sufferings.  For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, God's grace surpasses understanding.  What an amazing gift.