Fishing on Sabbatical

     Today was an emotional day - one of those days when nothing that I had planned happened.  Underneath all the unexpected shifts, there was a tangible sense that the Holy Spirit had showed up to direct the day.  God was speaking and I was trying to listen.  I was feeling like there was a break through - a break through in the numbness - in the sense of restlessness, in the sense of direction.  This sabbatical was finally starting to mesh.
    And then the most idyllic fishing boat passed right along the lakeside of the house.  I went out to fully take in the majesty of the evening moment.  Sun setting.  Nice boat rigged out with two different motors.  Two happy fisher persons on board.  Even the loon family that likes to frequent the front of our house was there to take in the action.  I went out to the deck to get a closer look, to view, to breathe in this perfect moment that was showing me that all the unexpected changes to my planned events were really a divine act of God.  This was my moment of revelation.  God is here.  God is shining on us all.  
    And then they hit a snag -  right in front of our house.  Suddenly there was a  lot of commotion on this idyllic fishing boat.  The guy at the motor was waving and adjusting.  The person in the orange vest was pointing and obviously upset.   And me - from my upper deck top view -  I was just sad.  What happened to idyllic?  What happened to easy?  What happened to divine revelation?
     I went back in to the house. My God moment had passed and it wasn’t the picture perfect view that I had imagined.  Along with disappointment, there was a bit of anger.  Internally I said, “Come on God.  You could have at least given me this fishing fantasy as a metaphor for life right now!” Inside the house, the sadness reigned again.
    Within a few minutes, they were in sight again.  Over there by another shore, I could see that same fishing boat with the same person in an orange vest.  They were trolling along - still fishing - still enjoy the scenery and the sport.  Before long, they were back in front of the house - and then in the very same spot where they had the snag.  From what I observed, they were  trolling along, moving through the waters, continuing to fish the lake and enjoy whatever happened as part of the experience.  My internal dialogue, however, was different.  “What? Are they crazy to come back here again?  Why would they take that risk?” And then with deeper reflection,   Is this why Jesus used fishing in so many stories?  Perhaps there is something I need to learn about the perseverance and resilience of fisher persons.  
    For me, fishing always brings back memories of my parents. I love the water but when my dad took me fishing, I preferred to read a book in the boat.  There were too many expectations - too many disappointments - too many entanglements.  As a teen, it felt better for me to delve into the world of romantic fantasy than to face all those challenges. Even today,  I have to admit that my desire is often to escape (Thank you Hallmark Channel for making it easy) But the question that consumes me today, is what am I missing?  … perhaps those who persevere… who face off with the snags… who figure out the entanglements.  Sometimes we need to cut the line, even if it means grieving the loss of a good bait.  Sometimes we need to put something new on the hook and throw the line in again.  Sometimes we need to trust that the fish are there but the conditions are not right so we can try again in the morning.   Fisher persons are people who persevere… who trust… and sometimes bring in a great catch.
    Maybe, after all, this was a God moment and a good day - for people who fish and people who watch them.
 

Hope

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,”  I Peter 1:3

 

            There have been times over the last 7 weeks when I have said to myself, “I just have to hang in there until... until the Covid-19 curve flattens... until things are normal again... until we can all get back to church... until the weather gets nicer.”   I realized in these thoughts I was putting my energy into hoping for something in the future rather than living fully in the present moment with hope.  There’s a difference.  

            When I was a hospice chaplain, I often found myself helping people to redefine hope.  Hope meant cure, meant getting back to normal, meant holding on for the good days again.  With a prognosis of 6 months or less to live, some people needed to shift their understanding of hope - to find hope in the midst of circumstances they never would have imagined.

            It can be challenging to experience hope when it isn’t tied to an outcome, a positive feeling or the sense that it will all get better in the future.  Hope, however, is also a way of being. It is something that weaves its way into daily life, helping us to accept what is and live without despair.   One author refers to this as the distinction between “ordinary hope” and “mystical hope” and makes the following observations:

•   Mystical hope is not tied to a good outcome, to the future. It lives a life of its own, seemingly without reference to external circumstances and conditions.

•   It has something to do with presence—not a future good outcome, but the immediate experience of being met, held in communion, by something intimately at hand.

•   It bears fruit within us at the psychological level in the sensations of strength, joy, and satisfaction: an “unbearable lightness of being.” But mysteriously, rather than deriving these gifts from outward expectations being met, it seems to produce them from within. *

            As much as I would like to, I can’t conjure up that kind of hope.  We ourselves are not the source of that hope, but the source dwells deeply within us and flows to us with an abundance, so much so that in fact it might be more accurate to say we dwell within it.  Today, you and I can dwell in hope, regardless of our situation, as we journey toward the center, to the innermost ground of our being where we meet and are met by God. 

*Adapted from Cynthia Bourgeault, Mystical Hope: Trusting in the Mercy of God

Personal Mantras

I vividly remember the day.  It was July 1990.  I was in the pristine parsonage kitchen with white tile floors and white wallpaper in Quincy, Massachusetts.  Kirk and I were co-pastoring but he was gone in order to be “pastor of the week” at our church Bible camp.  This meant that I was the solo pastor at church and at home with our 20 month old and 4 month old sons.  It was supper time and both were crying to be fed, one in his high chair throwing everything on the white tile floor and the other in his baby seat, hysterical by my lack of attention.  It was then that it came to me - a mantra that has kept me sane from then and until now.   “I am a sea of calm in a world of chaos.”   I remember saying it.  I remember shouting it.  I remember singing it - on that day when I picked up food off the floor and got some favorite finger food on the highchair tray,  while I tried to calm myself in order to feed the other son,  and on many other occasions since then.   “I am a sea of calm in a world of chaos.”   After a few years of saying this to myself, I could even visualize stormy waves turning in to still waters -the waters receding and gentle ripples just lapping at the shores of my life.

I believe in the power of personal mantras.  They are a way to guide us - to give us focus when the world seems to be out of control.   There have been many times in my last 30 years that my perspective has been turned around by this particular phrase. “I am a sea of calm in a world of chaos.” I have said it over and over again to myself until it became true.   At some point, I would suggest that everyone create their own personal mantra that fits for them and they can claim for a lifetime of situations.

This, however,  is a new season in my life.   I no longer have children in high chairs or baby seats screaming for attention.  I still want to abide in peace and calm but I am beginning to have a new mantra.  It is less familiar and I’m not sure if I even like it but I’m trying it out.  “It is good to learn new things.”   Like the old one, I have to say it over and over again to myself.  I’ve shouted it a few times.  I’m trying to learn to sing it, often with a bit of disbelief and skepticism.  When I’m visiting people at windows with a white board for conversation, I say to myself, “It is good to learn new things.”  When I’m uncertain about how all this social media thing works, I say to myself, “It is good to learn new things.”   When I’m setting up my new laptop computer because my old one is too archaic to run all the programs I currently need at home, I say to myself. “It is good to learn new things.”  When I consider what the future might mean, I say to myself, “It is good to learn new things.”

Yes, there are days - days when I say to God, “What are you doing?  I thought I had 5 to10 more years before all these changes would be happening in ministry?”   Days when I say to God, “Why is this happening now and what am I supposed to be doing with my limited talents and resources?”  And in those days and others I am learning to say, “It is good to learn new things!”  God is always stretching us and we are always growing.  That is the nature of the Christian life.  Whether you need to be a sea of calm in a world of chaos or need to learn to new things in a changing world, God is with us.   Speak your personal mantra into the situation and above all else say, “Thanks be to God!!”

God Provides in Unexpected Ways

Today is one of those days that is a testimony to how God gives us what we need, even when we don’t know what it is and haven’t asked for it.

Ten years ago today my mother died.  For the last year, I have thought from time to time about what this day might mean.  Three months ago, I decided I would spend it just like any other Saturday with some usual responsibilities but then plans shifted and I ended up with the day completely free.  I took that as I sign that I ought to be more intentional about marking the day. I needed some internal and external work done.  This week I decided I would clean the attic.  It seemed fitting.  My mom was always trying to get organized and get rid of things but had a hard time actually getting it done - a trait that I definitely inherited.  It would be a fine way to remember her and accomplish some needed work.  I would also spend time journaling and trying to process some of the emotions and regrets that I associate with being a daughter and a mother.   I had it planned. I was going to do what I thought I needed to do.

And then things started to happen. I was swept up by relationships and gratitude in unexpected ways. 

Yesterday, two dear friends came to town and we spent the afternoon talking about life - theirs and mine.  I laughed as only I can do when I am with them.  After they left, I remembered that 10 years ago they brought supper to our house as my mother lay dying in the next room.  One of them came back to sit with my mom so I could get some sleep and just before I was going to take my shift at midnight she woke me up to come downstairs and be with my mother as she took her last breaths in the new day’s  dawning.  That kind of bond and friendship is unique.  They had no idea of the significance of yesterday  but I was so grateful that they were there to share it with me.

While I wanted to hide away today, I thought it would be good to start the Saturday as I usually do with the only parents I have in this world - my in-laws. Our weekly breakfast ironically turned in to a celebration of what it means to be family as “slakt to slakt” (Swedish for clan to clan) connections were confirmed.  At the other end of the table,  I sat next to the man who provided pastoral care for my mother in her last months and was there as support to me when both my parents died.  He did not know the significance of the day but I quietly gave thanks to God for all the ways he has been present to care for those in need, including me.  He and his wife are family to me.

This morning our daughter unexpectedly showed up at the house with tulips and pussy willows.   I cried, as only I can do when I am with her.  She got up early and drove for hours in order to spend a few hours with me on a hard day.  We talked, we shopped, we ate Taco Tico - all the things we do as mother and daughter.  She even helped me sort the attic.  When she left I realized that perhaps all the self loathing and regrets I had anticipated to pour out in my journaling were maybe not as bad as it had seemed at the beginning of the week.  I am not perfect but I am forgiven.  I am not enough but who I am is enough.

Tonight our son and his wife showed up unexpectedly for supper.  They were passing through and when they found out the significance of the day they decided to stop.  It was a delight to see them and celebrate how our family has enlarged in the years since my mother’s death.  She would be so delighted in her new grandchildren.  They would have been loved by a woman who had so much love to give.  

Intentionally or unintentionally, I received blessings beyond my anticipation or control.  I did not know what I needed today.  I thought I had it figured out but the Holy Spirit provided in ways beyond my imagination.  Thanks be to God for the gifts of family and friends in joy and in sorrow. 

Live Life to the Fullest... and...

I’m in an in between spot in life.  I opened up a package of 100 count tea candles that we bought at IKEA this weekend and as I dumped them in the drawer I caught myself thinking,  “Well, I guess there will be leftover tea candles when I die.”  In recent months I’ve noticed that when Kirk is encouraging me to buy something my usual answer is, “Why should we?  It will just be another thing that the kids will put in the dumpster when we are dead.” 

So, what does it all mean?  It is possible that I am fatalistic with all my years of ministry in death and dying. I am too young to be focused on death unless I am rehearsing tragedy in order to cover up my feelings of vulnerability for the future.   It might be that I am a realist, knowing that the things of this life are temporary and that my millennial generation children have no interest in the “treasures” that their parents or grandparents have hung on to in order to leave a lasting legacy for the future.  Or it might be that I am somewhere in between. 

In the in between, I am trying to figure out what it means to live in the second half of life -  to be realistic about the future but also to fully engage with what is present.  I know friends who are counting the days until retirement, planning for all the possibilities, and looking forward to a life that may or may not come to fruition.   And I have friends who want to deny that they are aging, that there are changes ahead and don’t want to think about it until it is forced upon them.  I guess all are valid approaches but I’m not sure where it is that I am at - in this in between. 

Mostly, I have decided that I might be missing the present.  That would be unfortunate.  Sure, it is not all great.  There are challenges.  But the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence and it irritates me when people keep glancing over there and thinking that they don’t have to deal with what is the here and now.  It also makes me nervous to make too many plans about the future when we all know that life can change in an instant. 

What a gift we are given - each day, each person, each event, - even each tea candle that I light.  I want to be fully engaged in the present and to be thankful that I am alive to be part of whatever is happening right now in my life.  I don't know what the future holds.  All I know that God has placed me here in this place, at this time, and I want to do my best.  What a gift! What a joy! Why would I spend my time worrying about the unknowns and miss the opportunities that are right before me.  

At the same time, a favorite book of mine is Soul Salsa by Leonard Sweet.   One of the chapters is entitled, “Bounce Your Last Check” and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.  He says, “We are all going to die.  Many of us are living as if we are immortal, but we are all going to die.  The only question is, what will we leave behind when we die?  If you dance the ‘soulsalsa’ in this new millennium, you will leave nothing behind.  By the time you die, you will have given away whatever you have. Time it so that the last check bounces... To bounce one’s last check is to die vertical, not horizontal.  To die vertical is to take a stand and to declare your values even when you die.  To die horizontal is to allow others to declare your values for you and to let them take whatever stands they want to take with your money...” 

It is an interesting combination of thoughts  - and I am “in between.”” I’m trying to figure out how to live life - to live it to the fullest, right now, in whatever God gives to me.  And at the same time to prepare for the future realizing that the lasting legacy may not be the amount of tea candles in a drawer or CDs in the bank but how we live our lives and our values  for generations to come.     

Investing in 2018

For some people the turn of the new year is about resolutions.  I used to be one of those people.  Each year I would make a list of new year's resolutions. By mid- January,  I would admit defeat.  All of the resolutions had been broken and I would just go on aimlessly through the year.  Then, I discovered the idea of picking one word for a focus for the year  It is not perfect,  but 100% better for my personality than a list of resolutions.    It is a way to orient and re-orient myself to - (not a disappointing goal like exercising more) -  but to  a thought process that can carry me through the year.  I've been using this as a kind of spiritual discipline for several years.  Each new year is met with anticipation and a bit of anxiety about what the "word" might be. 

"So, what is your word this year, mom?" was the question posed by my daughter this weekend.  It pushed me toward that dreaded decision.  The first few years it was easy.  While I really like this discipline, for the last couple of years it has been harder.   What do I really want to focus on this year?  What will bring me back to my grounded center when I start to stray?  Where do I want to put my energy in  2018?

And so here it is -  INVEST - is my word for 2018.  I don't like it because it seems to have some kind of financial implications.  I don't mean it that way, but I haven't found a better word.   I considered some synonyms like "value" or "intentional" but they seemed more inclined toward simply thinking about something or someone.  Invest takes initiative.  It means action, not simply thinking about something or someone.  The question for 2018  is 'how will I invest my energy, my talents, my blessings this day?"  Everyday we are given 24 hours.  Each effort - each hour - each action is an investment, - but where, how, in whom?  Have I invested the minutes of my day in the most important people in my life?  Where could I invest more energy in order to do my part in building the kingdom of God?   These are the questions that I am excited to face in 2018.

On this new year's day, I pray that you will find a way to invest in the future and that God will guide you to a focus and a purpose for this year.

The Slow Work of God

Saunter is a word which has its origin in the Middle Ages.  When people were on pilgrimages to different holy places, and would pass through towns along the way, villagers would ask where they were going.  They would reply, "A la sainte terre,"  - to the Holy Land.  They became known as sainte-terre-ers or saunterers.  Thus,  a slower and more reflective pace has often been associated with a pilgrimage to the Holy Land.

Yesterday, we started our day at the top of Masada.  It is what remains of a vast palace fortress with an equally vast history.  Built by the slaves of King Herod, it is hard to fathom the amount of slow, back breaking work it took not only to build the walls but also to bring water to this high mountain plateau.  Historically, Masada was also the home to 960 Jewish Zealots who watched for over a year while the Roman legion slowly built a siege ramp, tower and battering ram in order to overtake them in 73 A.D.  Instead of being taken captive, this group of extremists chose to die by their own hand at Masada.  It is both an awe inspiring and somber place.  There was a lot to see and so some of our group went quickly from place to place and then hiked down the mountain side "snake path" to the bottom.  Others in our group took a slower more deliberate pace.

Our devotions for the day included this quote from Albert Palmer, "There are people who "hike" though life.  They measure life in terms of money and amusement, they rush along the trail of life feverishly seeking to make a dollar or gratify an appetite.  How much better to "saunter" along this trail of life to measure it in terms of beauty and love and friendship.  How much finer to take time to know and understand the men and women along the way, to stop a while and let the beauty of the sunset possess the soul, to listen to what the trees are saying and the songs of the birds, and to gather the fragrant little flowers that bloom all along the trail of life for those who have eyes to see!"

As I "sauntered" around Masada, I was struck by the idea that perhaps our God who "is a mighty fortress" is also more inclined to move slowly.  We expect instant results.  We want things to happen - now!  And yet our God is always at work, sometimes with quick results but more often in slow, inconceivable, invisible ways.  Whether we hike or saunter through life, there is also the slow work of God that is happening in us and around us.  I have often become impatient with the slow work of God.  I like quicker results.   Yet the older I get the more thankful I am that God also never stops working.   A trip like ours to the Holy Land can be an intense fast few days.  At the same time, the growth, the learning, the openness to new ideas are all part of the slow work of God that will continue for years to come.

When You Wish Upon A Star

“When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires 

Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do”

Dreaming for something to happen seems to be the activity of little girls or Tinker Bell’s Disney magic.   A trip to the Holy Land, however, is a wish that I made upon a star a long time ago.  My mother hoped to go and never made it.  She encouraged me to take a trip someday.  Ten years ago, I began to wonder if Trinity, the church I currently serve as pastor,  could make a trip happen.  In 2015, Kirk and I explored the possibility by attending Jerusalem University College for two weeks.  And this week, dreams are coming true.  Not just mine, hopefully, but also some of the dreams of my 34 traveling companions.  What an exciting time!

After leaving Iowa in the early morning hours on Tuesday,  a full day of travel,  another weary day of sightseeing on little sleep in a new time zone, and a third day of amazing experiences - I now take my rest in a kibbutz on the shores of the Sea of Galilee.  It is  reality.  It is a dream.  

It is also my hope and dream that this is more than a trip.  I pray that it will also be an unforgettable Lenten pilgrimage.  I prepared a devotional book to encourage reflections on this topic.   This quote from Henri Nouwen in some way summarizes my thoughts as we have begun our journey.

“When I trust deeply that today God is truly with me and holds me safe in a divine embrace, guiding every one of my steps I can let go of my anxious need to know how tomorrow will look, or what will happen next month or next year.  I can be fully where I am and pay attention to the many signs of God’s love within me and around me."

Tonight, after touring a kibbutz and eating a delicious fresh fish dinner served by the families who live here, several of us  gathered on the sandy shore of Galilee and looked into the dark night sky at the stars.  Where Jesus taught his disciples, we talked, laughed, told stories and shared about ourselves.  And under the stars, I understood.  Sometimes dreams become experiences.  Experiences became memories.  And memories become dreams again... And in it all, there are many signs of God's love within me and around me.

Rethinking Closure

For many years, I have been a proponent of closure.  To intentionally say good bye,  to cherish meaningful moments at the end of life. to create rituals marking transitions or new phases in life are important.   While I try to make closure on a regular basis, every few years I also set aside a larger amount of time to thoughtfully attend to some accumulated losses due to deaths or transitions in my life.  I want an opportunity to reflect on the people who have touched my life and gone on to be part of the saints in glory.  I need to learn from the successes and failures of the past few years so that I can grow and improve.  Even acknowledging that in positive changes there can be grief, helps me to process my feelings.  Each of those involve some measure of closure - a person, an event, a dream, a phase in life.    However, closure also seems to indicate that there is a clear end.  The dictionary says closure is the act or state of being closed, a conclusion, a feeling of finality or resolution.  The more I’ve thought about it,  the more I’ve wondered if that ever completely happens. 

University of Minnesota professor, Pauline Boss, says that a desire for closure comes from our “culture of mastery”, where we think that we need to be in charge of all our feelings and events that happen.  She has written a book about the many different ways that losses occur in life and was recently on NPR talking about ambiguous loss and the myth of closure.  She made some points that have stuck with me.  She said,  “I believe that “closure,” is a perfectly good word for real estate and business deals but ‘closure’ is a terrible word in human relationships. Once you've become attached to somebody, love them, care about them, when they're lost, you still care about them. It's different. It's a different dimension. But you can't just turn it off. Somehow in our society, we've decided, once someone is dead, you have to close the door. But we now know that people live with grief. They don't have to get over it. It's perfectly fine. I'm not talking about obsession, but just remembering... There is no such thing as closure. We have to live with loss, clear or ambiguous. And it's OK. It's OK to see people who are hurting and just to say something simple. “I'm so sorry.” You really don't have to say more than that.”
 
To recognize the degree to which all of us live every day with an element of grief seems essential for understanding the nature of relationships.  To grieve is not bad or wrong.  We don't somehow "get over it."  It just is.  And some days are better than others.   Relationships come and go in a variety of ways but there is also the remembering that goes with each one, no matter how they end up.  We honor our remembering by knowing that closure will never be complete.  We just keep growing, changing and living.  There is no end to the impact one life can make on another.  There is no end to the lessons learned from certain seasons in life.
 
As I’ve been rethinking closure, we “closed” on our Mason City home where we lived for 20 years and raised our 4 children.  Next week, I will “close” on the 80 acres of Minnesota land where my father spent his retirement years planting, pruning and harvest trees as well as gardening 14 acre by himself.  Even though these are real estate transactions, it has been helpful for me to recognize in these “closings” there is an element of remembering that will continue on.  Grief is a part of processing the life that we are given and I have been blessed by many wonderful people and memories.

Cleaning Up!

It’s sabbatical time again.  I have looked forward to this extended 8 week sabbath for quite a while. Since a sabbatical is intended for rest of the body, mind and spirit, I did just that my first week.  I read a little, rested a lot, and reflected on the beauty of God’s creation.  I’m fortunate to be in a place where the trees and water feed my soul and the evening sunsets are breathtaking.  

However, last week storms also came through northern Minnesota, uprooting trees, taking out power, and leaving debris everywhere. I have looked at all the fallen trees and hundreds of sticks and branches in my yard this week with resentment. How could my beautiful nature turn on me and leave such a mess!  I don’t want to have to do clean up while reconnecting with God.  

 But these trees have been teaching me a lesson about my spiritual life.  It is great to have more time in quiet for prayer, reading and reflection.  They are all important practices.  But spiritual renewal also comes with the harder work of clean-up - to be willing to take a tough look at the places where I am broken, splintered, and shallow - to  be honest about where I have dead branches or parts to be cut up and thrown on the burn pile - to accept the reality that the more I keep branching out the less energy is directed to my root system.  
Clean up was not in my sabbatical plan but it seems to have emerged as an important part of the process in order to reconnect with a sense of purpose, freedom and passion in Christ.

Psalm 51 is traditionally understood in the context of David’s confession to God after being convicted of his sins by the prophet Nathan. The prayer begins with a cry for forgiveness followed by a desire for a new beginning.  “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin” vs 2  Interestingly, the Hebrew word for iniquity means “to be bent out of shape,” perhaps like trees blown by the wind.  In being made right again with God, the psalmist acknowledges that the witness and sacrifice the Lord desires is not something we can bring as an offering but rather who we are in our human vulnerability.  "The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart."  vs 17 

Clean up is hard work - outside and inside.  Yet perhaps it is in self examination, confession and forgiveness that we find the greatest rest and renewal.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and sustain in me a willing spirit."  Psalm 51: 10,12

X Marks the Spot!

The maps from last month are now covered with many Xs.  In the last few weeks, I have been fortunate to stand in many treasured places.  I have walked along the streets of Jesus’ hometown of Capernaum.  I looked at layer upon layer of destroyed cities where Joshua once blew the horn and the walls came tumbling down.  I sat and listened to teachings on a hill side where Jesus may have taught his disciples.  I stood in the ruins of the prisons in Caesarea where the Apostle Paul was kept for two years. 

Barbara Brown Taylor in one of my favorite books says, “No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.”(from Altar on the World)

Today, I am in Iowa filled with many memories.  I have learned many things but perhaps one of the most important is that it is no coincidence that God chose the small narrow section of the world in Israel to birth a nation and a new people.  The geography, the agriculture, the never ending conflicts all teach a unique dependency on God.  The Holy Land is not a place for extravagance.  It was a place to learn to lift our eyes to the hills and know our help will come.  “My help comes from tom the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”  (Psalm 121) When Psalm 23 says, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”  It is not meant to deny our human tendency to seek more.  Rather as BBT suggests, all we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need.  And so I stand on my own X, thankful for all the places I was fortunate to be but also realizing the most important part of any travel or life experience is how it shapes us in our daily lives.  I am so blessed to already have everything I need.   And so while I have had a few weeks of writing about the extraordinary, I hope to continue to find the extraordinary in the ordinary in this place where God has called me to be.

Overflowing Contradictions

Israel is a land of many inconsistencies.  There are high rugged mountains and fertile green valleys.  Dry barren wilderness intersects with the Jordan River.  Peaceful family communities live on the edge of violence and uncertainty.  A wide range of religious convictions are zealously followed while others complacently live in the culture shaped by the variances.

Today I am living my own set of conflicts.  I am filled to overflowing with information and drained of the ability to process.  I am excited by the experience and exhausted by all that it entails.  I am looking forward to being home and sad to leave.  The land of contradictions is within me as well as around me.  

After studying for 14 days, walking more than 60 miles, exploring 14 of Israel’s National Parks, visiting numerous sites, and experiencing a multitude of blessings, our time in the Holy Land is drawing to a close.  I had numerous questions when I came. What will it be like?  Will I be able to handle the physical changes and challenges?  How will we be making connections to the Bible and the maps? I have answers to those questions.  Now I have a whole new set.  How will I remember it all?  Where will I use it all?  What does this mean for the future? Regardless of the answers, I know that I have a multitude of memories to process. I also have a renewed appreciation for how the Bible and our faith is shaped by the land in which it happened.  It doesn’t make it any less miraculous and mysterious.  If anything, being here has given me more of a sense of just how amazing it is that in this small section of the universe God created a plan for redeeming the world.  The Bible is the same but I will read it differently.  I am the same and I am blessed to be changed by this experience.  

Just Imagine!

View of Galilee from cliffs of Arbel

Prior to coming to Israel, I could only imagine the hills of Judah, the Jordan River and the Sea of Galilee.  I have seen pictures, listened to descriptions by people who have been here and read about what towns were like during Biblical times.  In some ways, however, I realize that I had read about these places and events as literature and fiction.  I didn’t expect to see them anymore than I expect to see Harry Potter’s Hogwarts or Fred Flinestone’s town of Bedrock.  There are times when I have to pause and remind myself, “this is the real thing.”   Imagining these places has not diminished the overall gospel message but it has certainly left out some of the significant nuances.  

Yet the longer I am here, the more I see, the more my imagination gets going.  I never imagined that I would see the remains from the ancient city of Dan on the border with Lebanon.  A city arch was uncovered that dates from the middle Bronze Age, about 3,800 years old.  It is quite likely that Abraham walked through that arch to pay his respects to the elders of Dan when he was in this area.  I can only imagine!  

City gate of Dan

We began our morning with a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee.  A lot has changed in this Holy Land.  Shrines have been built over holy places.  City upon city has been destroyed only to have another one built on top of it.  There are places where nothing looks as it did when Jesus was here and imagination is a struggle.   But there are also places that remind me that water, mountains, and geography don’t change. Excavation sites have dug away 2,000 years of dirt and more to reveal a glimpse in to years gone by.  It is enough to make the imagination run wild.   It was easy for me to visualize little fishing villages instead of sprawling cities from the middle of the Sea of Galilee or to see Jesus in the mist from the shore.  It is breath taking to look from hill top to hill top and imagine the route of the Good Samaritan, or the shepherds, or Joshua strategically planning his next attack.  Israel is a place to get in touch with the real land and it is a place that feeds the imagination in new ways. 

Sea of Galilee

Boat ride on Galilee

Jesus also wanted to engage the imagination of the people.  Especially when he taught about the kingdom of God, it was as though he was saying, “you know this... now imagine this...”  We need a kind of grounding to our real life experiences but we also know that following Jesus is so much more.   Just imagine what it might be like for you.  Just imagine what Jesus has waiting for us.  It is perhaps beyond imagination!

A possible type of place where Jesus was born

Imagine cooking supper here

Olive press to make olive oil

Lamp on a lamp stand.  Let your light shine!

Traveling Companions

Picnic lunch together each day on our field trips

Kirk and I are blessed to be part of a diverse group of 39 people on our trip.  There are couples, singles and widows - a father with two adult sons, a mother with her daughter, and some family/friend combinations.  There are “twenty somethings” and “seventy somethings” and everything in between.  We have a large group from Canada and individuals scattered across the United States. The people also come from a wide variety of professional backgrounds with even wider life experiences and interests.

Maccalester College, St.Paul, MN and Carthage College, Kenosha, WI began the work at this site

One of our traveling companions is an attorney who spent a month in 2014 working on an archaeological dig in Galilee.  We were fortunate today to be able to slip in and see this site in process where there are three periods of buildings from as early as 300 B.C.
Eating, walking and learning together has created this group of strangers in to a community of special traveling companions.

Insignificant pieces of pottery, collected, recorded and discarded

There are other kinds of traveling companions with me, as well.  It was a lifetime dream of my mother to go to the Holy Land some day.  I brought her Bible instead of my own so that I would be reminded of how fortunate I am to live out a dream that she was never able to achieve.  I also carry with me in my heart many people back home whom I know are going through hard times or facing new challenges.  My thoughts include those kind of traveling companions who are in my prayers even when we are far apart.  With All Saints services coming up this weekend, I have been reflecting on the many people who will be named among that group for the first time this year.  I am sorry to miss those services but will be remembering many precious families.   As we traveled along the borders of Lebanon and Syria today, it was also comforting to know that Kirk and I are held in the prayers of many people at home. My traveling companions are numerous - seen and unseen.

And, I am especially thinking about future traveling companions. I am excited for our first coffee gathering on Monday, November 16th when we can begin to start forming our group of traveling companions and shaping the kind of trip we want to put together.  Israel is a place where you can learn so much.  It is for people interested in history, geography, geology, archaeology, theology, sociology, politics, military, construction, manufacturing, engineering and so much more.  But it is also a place for people who enjoy nature, agriculture, food, shopping, hiking, bird watching, and meeting interesting people. This Holy Land is a place where the Bible comes alive, but more importantly, this is a trip for people who want to come alive to the Bible.

A bowl for collecting water or making food

Headwaters of Jordan River from Mt Hermon

Wouldn't want to be a plumber with those pipes!

One amazing day after another

Beit She'an, ancient Roman city built on the site where the Philistines hung King Saul's body

Our days are very full but also very enriching.  I have especially learned a lot about the Old Testament and the meaning of many of the images and places I have taken for granted or overlooked through the years.  I also have a new appreciation for the ancient world's struggle for water as it is in many parts of the world today.  Although King Herod ends up being on the wrong is side in the story of Jesus' birth, he was a brilliant ruler, engineer, and military leader.  Remains of his palaces still stand as a testimony to his reign and power.

Amazing ingenuity for aqua ducts and water movement is found in many locations. 

Masada, one of King Herod's palace fortresses

We try to make about 4 locations a day.  We leave early in the morning from our hotel in Jerusalem, travel around and then return about 6:30 p.m. for supper to the same hotel.  It has been good to have a home base and it also helps to get a perspective on the distances.  Everything is much closer than I expected.  For example, Bethlehem is only 6 miles from Jerusalem and many places are visible from hill to hill with our hikes up to see the vista.

The maps are filling up with information and places

Kirk in a manger

Having a wonderful time with rain & sunshine, heat and cool

We checked out of our hotel in Jerusalem today to spend the rest of our time studying the area around the Sea of Galilee.  It will give us a sense of where Jesus grew up and spent much of his time teaching and preaching.  It is also a whole other kind of geography.  We are staying in a lovely resort on the water but closed the day but watching the sun set from the area where the Sermon on the Mount may have taken place.

Sunset over the Sea of Galilee

Hope these pictures get you excited to see these sites for yourself in 2017.

Here I Stand

Crosses marked on stone walls by pilgrims walking the Via Dolorosa

A mighty fortress is our God,
a bulwark never failing;
our helper he amid the flood
of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
doth seek to work us woe;
his craft and power are great,
and armed with cruel hate,
on earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strength confide,
our striving would be losing,
were not the right man on our side,
the man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is he;
Lord Sabaoth, his name,
from age to age the same,
and he must win the battle.
It was an interesting experience to worship on Reformation Sunday and sing this hymn within city walls built to keep out the ancient foes and to cross through check points as new walls are being built to draw enemy lines.  Martin Luther’s images reflect 16th century Germany but also the history of Israel.  God is a mighty stone building. Building up defensive walls for safety and freedom have been happening through the generations. Battling hate, division and the strength of human egos are not new issues. Yet, God is a place of security, from age to age the same.

Dome of the Rock on the Temple Mount

Before worshiping at the Lutheran Church of the Redeemer, Kirk and I walked up to the temple mount around the Dome of the Rock.  It is the location of the first and second temple in Jerusalem.  On one side is the western wall and on the mount is a shrine built to honor Muhammed.   In spite of the changes since 70 A.D. when the Jewish temple was completely destroyed, the temple mount does give a sense of where Jesus taught and worshiped.  Muslim, Jews and Christians all value this area and can be seen following out their different religious practices within a 360 view of the space.   I’ve heard it said, “human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God.” There is some truth to that statement and certainly no simple answers.  Christianity’s theology of reconciliation gives me hope but the Reformation also celebrates people who take a stand for restoration.

Western Wall of the Old Temple

 And so I found the words of Psalm 46 on Reformation Sunday speaking to both our foundation and the continual renewal of God’s church.

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, ... Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;... The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46: 4-7


We worship a God who is greater than any political spin or religious controversy.  The psalmist proclaims that we have nothing to fear for the Lord Almighty is with us.  God will always have the last word.  Here I stand, in this holy land with so much diversity, and celebrate Martin Luther’s desire to revive our love for the whole Word of God.

"no man's land" between Jordan and Israel from 1948-1967

Here's hoping Pastor Tom will wear this when he leads the Trinity group

Even cats enjoy a prayer rug and the east morning sun

Earthly Things and Spiritual Things

“To make bread or love, to dig in the earth, to feed an animal or cook for a stranger—these activities require no extensive commentary, no lucid theology. All they require is someone willing to bend, reach, chop, stir. Most of these tasks are so full of pleasure that there is no need to complicate things by calling them holy. And yet these are the same activities that change lives, sometimes all at once and sometimes more slowly, the way dripping water changes stone. In a world where faith is often construed as a way of thinking, bodily practices remind the willing that faith is a way of life.” 
Barbara Brown Taylor (Altar on the World)

Olive harvest on the Mount of Olives

Dates are also in season

Fresh squeezed pomegranate juice is delightful

Our study has taken us out of the classroom and in to the fields for lecture, Bible readings, mapping, observation and exploration the last 3 days.  Boarding the bus at 7 a.m. each morning and returning at 6 p.m. each night, we have traveled the areas around Jerusalem to see the land as it was experienced through the ages.   While I believe this kind of trip can be transformative,  it has already been transforming my legs and feet!  We have crossed paths with some tourist destinations but spend most of our time off the path, exploring numerous archeological sites.

Remains at Jericho where city was built upon city

Significant discoveries and progress has been made in the last 40 years of unearthing historical links to the stories of the Bible.  I have learned that some things about human beings have always been the same, such as seeking the path of least resistance, wanting to be the one on top, or needing to stay healthy.  And that what we are hearing about this area in the news is nothing new.  This part of the world has been caught in conflict for many different reasons since before the time of the Old Testament.

The quote from Barbara Brown Taylor reminds me that all God needs from us is to “ bend, reach, chop, stir.”  Having something to eat and clean water to drink- taking care of family, animals, and the community - keeping safe from enemies - these are the basics for life.  They are also the essential ingredients for much of the Bible.  It is what people were doing.  It is what Jesus used as examples for his teaching.  In our contemporary individualistic, independent lifestyles, we can forget about being dependent on God for everything and miss that everyday practices can also be faithful practices whether they happened today or 2,000 years ago.  The images of Jesus’ earthly examples have come alive for me but they also remind me that it is always in the everyday things of life that we are learning more about God, ourselves and relationships.  Just prior to John 3:16, Jesus says to Nicodemus, “I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” (John 3:12)   Regardless of location or time, earthly things and spiritual things are merged in our faithful living of the gospel.   

Palace and fortress built by King Herod about 20 B.C.

View from the Herodian